19 April 2015


...be changing the name of the blog to DOWNERBLOG.  Or UPPERBLOG.  Not sure.

Most of us have had that moment around minute 1:20, right?

17 April 2015

My mama said something really telling and touching and sad to me today.  And it was in a text, which made the weight of it feel even more incongruous to the situation, but she said "Go out tonight, look pretty and have fun somewhere nice - that has been my gift to you after all".  And I sat there and looked at it and thought: "Really?  That's all you think?" And I realize that that is true - my mom has gorgeous skin and a real smile and is quite beautiful in a way that I hope I can be someday too - but I would think of other ways - her strength, her loyalty, her warmth - of being what she has passed on to me.  If I am lucky enough to have a daughter someday I'd like to think that my gifts to her would be those type of things, plus a love of food, and a love of the little details in life, and hopefully of music and the mind.  But my mom was having a very hard day and I think she was feeling a little wistful too, underneath her anger, so I wont hold it against her or be too judgey, but still.