The Secular Gym: Hoo-Ha Central.

Hahahahaha:

"For a while we tried to work out at home, using a series of instructional DVDs called 'Abs, Buns, and Brimstone,' which were hosted by a body-builder dressed as a sleeveless pastor, who said things like 'You'll never get raptured with that big ol' butt!' and 'When God looks at you, He says, 'Gee, I don't remember creating all that cellulite!'' Mom and I tried, but we missed the camaraderie of a gym, so we decided to open our own, in a strip mall, and we called our place Jesus Christ You're Fat."

ah home.

ugh.

hates: screaming babies in libraries.

likes: still hating screaming babies in libraries.

i'm the first to give babies/kids/old ppl the benefit of the doubt (after all, they have age issues) but when a mom decides to not only piss of hundreds of ppl who are trying to get something done in the relatively quiet and do-gooder atmostphere of the library, but to in fact allow thus teach her baby-child that screaming 'til your red-faced and hysterical in a public space meant for quiet productivity is acceptable, well, that's plain stone-in-your-stomach frustrating. blech.

2010: The Year of the Target Baseball Field.

There is way too much bullseye in these two towns. What about Minneapolis and St. Paul invite so much salacious corporate groping? Squeal like pigs, baseball fans.

Addendum:

Now I realize that the above could be read as a "morbid, critical interest" into the base motivation of corporate sponsorship, but at least let this help you consider and remember the corporate branding machines (I mean marketing departments) that are out there to stamp their brand on anything that will carry their brand forward in an innocuous, fuzzy way (in this case America's national pastime) and further the culture of cheap, mindless, and ultimately detrimental consumerism that exists so strongly here in this country (what Target wants to be America's national pastime.)

"MINNEAPOLIS-ST. PAUL, MN – Target Corporation (NYSE:TGT) and the Minnesota Twins today announced that they have reached an agreement in principle on an exclusive 25-year partnership that includes the naming rights for Target Field, the new world-class home of the Twins scheduled to open in 2010. Beyond Target Field, Target and the Twins also will collaborate on the design of Target Plaza – a pedestrian bridge and public gathering space connecting Target Field to downtown Minneapolis. The Minnesota Ballpark Authority, the public owner of the facility, will oversee the design, construction and operation of the new ballpark and plaza. Financial terms were not released."

consider: david foster wallace.

this kind of gets my motor going:

no. this.

consider this.

"Consider what immense forces society brings to play upon each of us, how that society changes from decade to decade; and also from class to class; well, if we cannot analyse these invisible presences, we know very little of the subject of the memoir; and again how futile life-writing becomes. I see myself as a fish in a stream; deflected; held in place; but cannot describe the stream."

-V Woolf

fuck.

it's late, everyone is asleep, and i just read a shitty work email. do i have a problem working for anyone?

got to see the end
though it may not be the end
it sure would feel good

oi.

i just heard what i thought was another convention from the other room, and it turned out to be the WWE. retch.

be here now

i should be writing a paper explaining carol bly's letters from the country and its influence on my writing. what i'm doing is reading blogs, looking at 2-bedroom apartments on craigslist, and cuddling the cats.

here's a haiku (idea stolen from old school synth - wow i'm a creeper. nobody should have ever put the internets in my hands) to fully express the situation:

having brewed coffee
i now must procrastinate
"letters from my place"

last weekend i was home in cleveland. the visit itself was relaxing, emotional, and rejuvenating, which could happen to anyone when they're home for less than a week and have no responsibilities.